2 weeks old

Im about a week late posting this. Time just flies by when you are having fun .

Having 5 is tough, yet its easy. I guess I can say its easy cause the kids are on summer vacation so we dont have to even get out of our pajamas most days. we can just stick to home doing whatever. Yet its tough because Phoenix is so cranky and so needy that its hard to even sit her down. She is now to the point where she will sleep anywhere from 10 mins to an hour either in her swing or on the couch with her boppy. but when she wakes up you better run cause she is maddddddd

I have been weighing her on her "week birthdays".

Birth- 8.12

Day 1- 8.1 (my mw came to do the newborn screening)

Week 1- 9lbs even

Week 2.2- 10lbs even. I tried to weigh her right at 2 weeks but my scale was being stupid and try to say she was barely over 8lbs so I tried again the next 2 days and got consistant weights. Maybe daddy was just adding wrong since it does ounces too. I dont know.

So she is getting huge! Chunky little monkey :) She is all upper body, just like her daddy.

I see her getting little smirks on her face like she is about to start smiling. Love! Jamison's first smile was at 3 weeks so im just waiting patiently to see that gummy little grin

her sleeping at night hasnt gotten any better really.

She still falls asleep between 9-10pm and will sleep until about 2-4am. She will be pretty restless from there on out. On days that daddy is working though we get the bed to ourselves at 4am so I put her on his side of the bed and she seems to really like that. She will sleep better that way. Yet she barely likes being held by him. go figure.

We go to the doctor tomorrow for a general checkup and to see if she might have reflux. Seems to be a fine line between colic and reflux. I can see that she is spitting up to the back of her throat where she makes a bad face, sometimes it will come all the way out and it smells so bad. Just like curdled milk. blah! you can tell by her faces she makes it doesnt feel very good either.

She isnt pooping very much nor is she very gassy either so im sure her belly hurts. and the fact she likes to nurse all.the.time. I am just wondering if she is nursing to help soothe her belly or if she has reflux, helps soothe the burning sensation.

she got so mad when I put the headband on. She took her hand and grabbed at it until it came off. and the goofy face lol.

she was starting to get really mad here. slowly building herself up

Sweet little lady sleeping. such a bad quality picture but it was at night, with my cell phone. She was laying so close to me I could barely maneuver enough to get the picture. But with her little hands resting on her face <3

Birth Story

May 31st- my due date
4:30am
I was laying in bed and just not feeling right. I was getting contractions on and off. Nothing consistent like its been the last few days. I managed to fall back asleep for a very short time before the kids had to wake up at 7am so we could take Malikai to school.
8am:
When me and the kids were on our way home from dropping Malikai off, Jamison started singing "Happy Birthday". Its the first time ive ever heard her sing it and I asked her who was she singing it to. Her response was that she was singing to the baby cause the baby was coming today. Sweet girl!

early afternoon I get a phone call from my midwife saying she needed to cancel our evening appt because she was up for the last 2 nights doing births at the hospital and needed some rest. No big deal. There was no real reason she needed to be here. Everything was fine.
3:00pmish
I managed to make it through the school routine. While waiting at the kids' school I even posted on facebook that I wasn't feeling 100% so when the kids got out of school I was sticking to home the rest of the night.
There was comments about the baby was going to come that night. But yet I had been feeling really off the last few nights so I just figured same old crap again today.
Evening was a little bit of a blur. I wasn't feeling well. I was just really tired and had a stomach ache. my back hurt really bad. I was hungry but couldn't really eat. I was trying to stay hydrated but even that was difficult cause I was nauseous. I was on edge. Luckily I wasn't going to be home alone with the kids for very long.
I managed to eat a banana around 8:40. I remember that because I was texting my friend Amanda cause she kept texting to check up on me :)

approx 10pm
I started having some cramping. I would have a contraction here and there. nothing out of the ordinary, but I was feeling off. Something wasn't "right". I remember being on the phone with my brother Tory and I was pacing my kitchen to see if something would start. He had just got done asking me if there was any labor pending and what would happen if the baby wouldn't come seeing it was my due date. It was funny because about a half hour before I talked to him, my other brother Casey sent me a text asking me how the baby situation was going and I told him there was nothing to report yet.
I remember looking at the phone when I hung up from Tory and it was 10:12pm.
At 10:15 the first contraction hit. I was in the bathroom and I had just stood up and it hit me and it HURT. I knew at that time to be safe I was going to start timing them. I got back downstairs and 6 mins later another one hit. It was short, but still painful. I kept pacing the kitchen and dining room. Making trips here and there up and down the stairs cause I knew that movement would help things along too.

They were coming between 5-6 mins apart. I told myself I would wait until about 11pm to call the midwife. I wanted to make sure this was real. 11pm came and I knew this was it. I told him to call the midwife and he suggested to wait until 11:30 to make sure these were going to stay consistent. With each contraction which were now coming every 4 minutes and lasting anywhere from 45-1min in length I knew she needed to be called NOW. They were so way beyond painful. Definitely my most painful labor yet! With each contraction I kept thinking to myself that I didn't know how I was going to make it through the next one, it was horrendous. No position was helping ease the pain. I couldn't even cry, and I tried! Anything to try and distract me.
11:30pm- the midwife was called, FINALLY. She was on her way.
my contractions jumped down to 3 mins apart and the intensity went right along with it. I started shaking so I knew I was going into transition. I knew once I hit transition it wouldn't be long. I always progress quickly when I get to that point. I begged for the pool to be set up. It seemed like it took forever!

I said that the photographer needed to be called too but he wanted to wait until my midwife got here to check me before we called her since she was being paid hourly and didn't want to waste time/money. Boy should he have listened to me!
Time was a bit of a blur at this point. Judging from what I was told, it was right around 12:45am (June 1st now). I was sitting on my couch and I had a contraction and my body did a little push. I was fighting it, trying to hold it back since nobody was here yet. I said that the midwife needed to be called to see where she was at cause I feel like pushing. She just happened to be in my driveway :)
I made it through 1 more contraction and made my way to the bedroom so I could be checked. I no longer got on my bed and had another contraction so she quickly checked me and I was already 9cm!!
THANKFULLY the pool was ready enough for me to get into at this point so I quickly got in there just in time for another contraction to hit.
I had 2 contractions and my water broke. It broke hard too. I never really felt it break with my other kids so this was a new sensation. the second it broke the baby seemed to FLY down the birth canal. It was so intense and so painful that I could barely speak (I was trying to tell my midwife my water broke).
Right after that I had another contraction and my body started to push. I let into it. I pushed right along with it. In the past pushing helped the pain, I didn't feel pain when pushing. not so much this time. I felt everything!
By the 2nd push the baby was crowning. I managed to reach around to feel the head. It was the first time I had ever been able to do this too so that was exciting and it helped distract me from the pain a little bit. I remember thinking that it didn't feel like a head. It was squishy and I could feel a lot of hair.
By the end of the 2nd push the head was out. Next contraction felt like it took forever to come, when it did I had to push for the shoulders. Those were tight. At one point my midwife practically lifted me up trying to get them free. All I had to do was focus and push harder and they popped right out. I was able to grab the baby and pull up and out of the water. Another thing I always wanted to do.

June 1st at 1:06am she made her way into the world!
So labor was 2 hours 52 minutes long. It was fast and furious! before then, my next shortest labor was 4 hours 6 mins with Tiler. She was my first homebirth. My midwife made it to that birth with 45 mins to spare. With this one she managed to be here for 24 minutes I think I was told. talk about cutting it close!

At this point I still didn't know the gender. My midwife was trying to get the baby to react. The baby was just hanging out in my arms. Eyes wide open just looking around. Simply didn't want to cry. It was amazing. Finally after some more prodding the baby cried and I looked to see it was a GIRL!I was really shocked. For the most part of my pregnancy I felt it was a boy. towards the end I couldn't make up my mind. When we were having trouble with the middle name everyone joked that since we didn't have one for a girl, we were definitely going to have a girl. hehe.
We waited for the cord to stop pulsating and daddy cut the cord. I immediately got out of the pool so I could deliver the placenta. As im standing there waiting for another contraction that would bring that out, the photographer showed up. She was about 10 minutes too late :(
Baby was perfect, she was quiet but very alert. Daddy walked around with her for a bit while I got cleaned up in the bedroom. He tried to wake the kids up to come watch the baby being born but they didn't want to wake up. So about an hour after she was born he went upstairs and they all woke up to meet her. They were very excited!
Recovery has been the best so far. The post contracting was very minimal. Maybe 2 days at most and even then it was only a handful of cramping.
Nursing is going very well. She likes to eat all.the.time! if she is awake she is nursing. As of being 1 week old she was back to her birth weight. She had gotten down to 8.1 the next afternoon when my midwife came back to do the newborn screening test.
the upside to her nursing so much is I havent had to pump yet. Usually by now I am pumping at least 1 whole side. the downfall to it is I am hungry all the time. I cant get enough to eat. Luckily it hasnt caused me to gain weight, but im not losing it either. I lost 13lbs from delivery and ive held onto everything else. This is typical for me. i was hoping it would be different this time around since I started out so healthy compared to the others. Its going to be a long summer!

Having 5 has had its challenges. only because she is so needy. Just the last few days she has allowed me to put her in her swing to sleep. but the second I lay her down I need to run and get things done cause when she wakes up she is not happy. I know this will be short lived and luckily the older kids are being very patient with me.

Its a GIRL!

BABY IS HERE!

ITS A GIRL!!

Phoenix Kinsley
June 1st, 2011 at 1:06am
8lbs 12oz
20.5 inches long

pictures are a little scattered. just how they uploaded. Im going to post a birth story in a little while. Got to get on that before I forget something!

She was 5 days old here. We were getting ready to go on a field trip with Malikai

She was about 2 hours old here

She was 1 week old here. My plan is to take a new pic at each new week

another 1 week pic

40 weeks

40 weeks today. yuck yuck yuck! I have to say i am quite surprised I have made it this far. With all the aches and pains I have had this pregnancy, wow!
I have been having bouts of false labor for days now. Talk about discouraging.
Judging from my 38 week picture and my picture this week I have grown even more. yikes!
these past few days I have been sooooo hungry and nothing will curb it so that makes me wonder if the baby was having 1 last growth spurt before letting loose. Ive gained 1lb in the past week so I dont know where else all this food is going :/

I have an appt with my midwife tonight at 7:45. Kinda sucks that its so late but its better than nothing I guess.
I am having a battle within myself to try castor oil late tonight. Its always worked, yet I told myself I wanted this to start naturally. Wonder if my body knows how to jumpstart naturally since ive always done castor oil. once I get that first dose in, my body just takes over and does everything it should. It just tastes so gross. eh eh eh
We'll see.



This is the timer I got out for the kids to keep track of when the baby was due. and this is what I woke up to this morning. Yup baby, if only YOU kept track of it too then you would know that you are not on time!
the kids are all confused still even though I explain it to them daily. They thought when it hit zero the baby was coming out right then. It was cute at first but then it grew into something annoying cause they all asked a million times a day for weeks now.
Plus I put the due date on my calender on my phone and that went off today saying it was Phoenix's due date. Great reminder. Like my body isnt feeling this.

Here is the final picture taken today. 40 weeks.
im tired, my body hurts. its getting hot outside and my maternity wardrobe does not reflect the weather change. HELP ME!

39 weeks

I had an appt with my midwife on Monday, May 23rd. I was 38.6 weeks. BP was perfect, HB was 140 I believe. I was measuring smaller which meant that the baby had dropped and from where she picked up the HB he/she had dropped ALOT. I knew I was able to breath better and walking was more challenging. Now it makes me really nervous that labor will go super fast.
My next appt is in the evening of the 31st. I am hoping to go before then. By Sunday evening would be perfect as I will have to resume the school routine on Tuesday when the kids go back to school after the holiday.

Im having daily contractions. Most evenings I get to the point where I think "this is it" but after a little while everything fizzles out and I just end up going to bed and have a miserable night of trying to toss and turn.

Last night (may 26th) was my last day working. bittersweet. I like the ladies I work with yet working was becoming a huge challenge. Just being on my feet that long was torture. Im glad will have a chance for a little bit of "rest" before baby comes.

I didnt take a belly pic this week. didnt feel like it. If I am still pregnant on my due date then I will take a pic then. It will definitely be the LAST picture too! Me and this baby are going to have a long talk if he/she doesnt come by then.

38 weeks

holy crap, ive got 2 weeks left until im due. providing I make it that far. I don't think I will but we'll see. besides Malikai, who was induced at 38.2 weeks, the earliest I went was right at 39 weeks for Tiler.I have 5 more shifts to make it through at work before I am done. My 2 I had over this past weekend were very difficult. They were only 5hrs and 5.5 hours long but being on my feet for that long was causing alot of pain. So much that I had all I could do to keep my composure. I have a 7hr and 7.5 hour shifts this coming weekend. I am hoping to get those dropped down to around 4 hours a piece. I dont think I can do the full shifts and I refuse to put myself into labor cause I am working too much.

Ive been having alot of swelling still. It hits me pretty early on in the morning and sticks with me all day. My shoes are quite tight and uncomfortable. Contractions are coming and going but mostly in the evening time when I am trying to relax for the night. I end up going to bed so they will stop but then that raises another issue of my hips hurting SO BAD. I feel like a 90 year old woman trying to walk around especially during the night when I have to use the bathroom. I can barely move. Ahhh I dont miss this part of pregnancy at all! Its amazing how much you forget!

the fatigue is outrageous the last few days. Ive done the whole school routine for the last 5 days and im feeling it! By the time I come home from bringing Malikai to school (and towing the other 3 with us) I am beat. I try to take a rest on the couch but with Jamison running around I cant really fall asleep so I just feel like a zombie all day long. I should get a bit of a break for the next 5 days so I am looking forward to that. But after that Im back to full on school duty until after im due. ive got major anxiety over all of that. Just these simple tasks wear me out and cause alot of discomfort but its for my kids so mama has to suck it up


Finally got the babes diaper stash done. Its a mix of fitteds, covers and pocket diapers. Its so tiny compared to what I had for Jamison. But we will be using sposies too until I know if I really want to handle cloth full time at this point. I still use cloth with Jamison but having 2 in diapers is alot different!


then here is another belly pic.

37 week appt.

I had an appt with my midwife yesterday. Even though I love my midwife, I am looking forward to being done with my appts. Mostly because that means the baby will be here and I.AM.DONE. im SO over being pregnant now. DONE DONE DONE.
BP was 110/60 so its staying normal now
im up 2 pounds. Its water. im soooo swollen. I have no ankles and my toes look like little sausages.
I am measuring about a week ahead.
Babes heartbeat was 140 and still head down! I keep getting told that I have dropped but as far as my lungs are concerned, I have not felt that yet. I do know that the movements are getting extremely painful to the point where they bring tears to my eyes. It got bad last night. I barely could keep my composure :(
People keep saying that I will go early. My luck I will go to the very end. Its best if I do anyway seeing that there is conflicting schedules right up until the day after im due which SUCKS! Plus your mind can be an amazing thing, if you dont have the right mindset it can taper things off and i dont want that yet I cant inconvenience anything either. blah.

my next appt isnt until the 23rd. I dont mind it being further than a week out. Its not like I have intense appts and if something is going on then of course I would just call my midwife.

I have all the babys diapers done and made. I still have to wash 3 of them that I just finished last night. I will have to take a picture. Its a pretty pathetic stash compared to what Jamison had but its still enough. Plus we are going to use sposies part time.

Finished picking up the last 2 things for the birth kit last night too, so that was a huge relief! the only other thing that needs to be finished is a shirt for the baby to wear right after birth. Daddy is going to make a homebirth shirt. one in blue and one in pink. Once those are done then EVERYTHING is all set and baby is more than welcome to come any time.

37 weeks

Here I am in my 9 month trying to get all the last minute things done. I made a large "to do" list before baby comes and I *almost* have it all done. Who knows if it will all get done in time. I am so tired these days that I dont even care how my house looks let alone getting a list completed. I have all I can do to get the school routine done in a timely manner.
I am a raging hormonal mess. the mood swings are full force. I feel bad for my family that they have to endure all of this. I just have to keep telling myself that it will be over with soon.

Its hard to think that sometime in the next few weeks there will be a baby in the house. Jamison has become wayyyy attached to me, alot more than usual. I am totally loving it. Well most of the time. There becomes a period in some days where I simply cant be touched no longer. It makes me feel guilty because I want to do nothing more than spend these final moments with my kids.

After having 5 days off in a row at work I went back last night for a 5 hour shift. It was seriously the longest 5 hours of my life. I was fine all day but on my way there I started getting crampy, contractions here and there. During the evening the baby was moving in such painful ways it would stop me in my tracks.
I don't have my schedule for my final week at work (which is only 4 days) but so far I have only 7 shifts. Maybe I will get lucky and they wont schedule me. I doubt it though. 2 of those 4 days fall on a weekend and im always scheduled on weekends.
Although it would be ideal to have the baby sometime between the 27th-30th. The kids dont have school during that time. But we'll see. My luck I will go all the way to the very end. I have been stuck on June 1st for a long time now.
Tiler however has a field trip to our local zoo on June 7th, that will be interesting cause I will not be missing that! So either I will be a week overdue or I will be walking around with a brand new baby.

I have an appt on Thursday the 12th. I doubt anything "exciting" will be reported. I am going to decline any dilation checks this time around. I am just not in the mood to be checked or get my hopes up of pending labor. It will happen when the baby is ready. Although it is rather depressing to hear about everyone around you having their baby and here you sit, a fat beached whale waiting and waiting. Granted I am not due yet...just not the point

36 weeks

36 weeks today. ONLY 4 weeks to go before my due date. AHHH. I had Tiler at 39 weeks which was my earliest natural delivery.
I finally have my birth kit and pool. Picked up a couple things from Walmart that I wasnt going to order. Only thing left I need to get is a mattress pad cover. I always have one just by chance my water breaks in bed. Plus I also sit in my bed right after delivery and even though I sit on those neat little underpads I want to be careful.
The kids are getting more and more excited. I have been telling them from early on that its going to be my birthday then after that the baby will come. Well my birthday is tomorrow so then the only thing left to countdown is the baby.
I know I always get nervous as labor is pending, but this time its almost got me panic stricken just thinking about it. Between working up until my due date and having to do the whole school routine and everything that final week all by myself I am afraid something is going to happen when I am not home. Its difficult enough to drive our new truck but to drive and be having contractions. yikes!
Bennett's last day of school is on the 26th so providing I go past that, at least I dont have to do that part of the routine. that is the most physical part since we have to walk him inside up a ton of stairs. But I have to wait about 45 mins in Malikai and Tilers parking lot to pick them up. I have to get there early enough to find a parking spot that I can pull forward in since the truck is so large I hate backing up especially without backup sensors so I always make sure to pull forward in a spot so I can easily pull right out. I absolutely can not get stuck in the drive thru line. My luck the one day I will get stuck is when I will go into labor.
The girls at work keep teasing me that I will go into labor there and they will just stick me in the family fitting room to deliver. hehe. I already made a point in telling all of them that they better not call 911 or any funny business like that. I don't want that hassle. I know I wont be able to drive home alone, but im sure I could get a ride if needed. Hopefully I wont get scheduled very much my last week to lessen the chances of anything happening there.
On another note, I had my 36wk appt yesterday. I had a 3lb weight gain. Part of it was I had pizza and pop over the weekend and neither one agrees with me at all. Plus I had just had a large lunch and a TON of water right before my appt. Before all of that I was only 1lb up from my last appt. I am so glad I seem to be averaging out. Still have an outrageous ending number. boo.
My BP was 110/60 which is better than what it has been so that is great! I still have the dizzy spells a couple times a week but overall its getting better. Thankfully.
Babes heartbeat was 147 and strong. Still in the same position which includes being head down YEAH!
and I am still measuring just over a week ahead. Not too bad. She thinks (so do I) that im on track to having another larger baby. Thats ok though. I know my body can handle it. just have to stay confident and let my body work its magic when its time.

34/35 weeks

Imagine this...im late posting. Seems to be a usual thing for me. Time has not been my friend lately!
today I am 34.6 weeks.
I had an appt 1 week ago when I was 33.6 weeks. I had a little bit of a weight gain, but I know that is was water weight. I can't stay hydrated like I should while im working so when I am home I drink drink drink which at first makes me retain for a couple days then my bladder lets loose and voila! I lose it all. So I was up a few pounds of water. I think I am a total of 3 pounds in the last month. Not bad for me! quite impressed if I say so myself. I think I am mostly gaining in my belly now anyway. Nothing is getting tighter or fitting different aside from my shirts getting too short. Plus my belly is obviously bigger.
I am measuring just over a week ahead. Got lots of water in there yet again. I knew it would be any time that I would sprout ahead of my time.
I was thinking, it was a little over a week ago I was soooo hungry. For a few days I could not get enough to eat so im sure mama and babe went on a little growth spurt. Then sure enough at my appt we were bigger :) Good to know the babe is thriving.
My BP was high again. it was 120/70. Pretty concerning since that is high for me. I was having dizzy spells all day again. I continue having the spells minus the ringing in my ears. I had it for 3 days straight. Im fortunate that I can still walk/talk etc.. through them, it just doesnt make daily life very pleasant.
My next appt is on May 3rd. Day before the big 2.6. cant believe im closer to 30 instead of 20 lol.
i seem to still get flack from people because of how young I am with the amount of children I have. People just don't understand big families and instead of asking legitimate questions they find it easier to pass judgement right to my face. F them! Im so tired of it. My kids have every essential they need to thrive and that is all that should matter. Nobody *needs* the best of everything. Nobody *needs* high end anything. Drives me insane when people pass judgement because we dont give them every single thing THEY think a child needs. Its all materialistic BS.

I havent ordered my birth kit yet :x
Ive got my shopping cart prepped, providing it saved when I closed out. Havent checked that yet. Nonetheless, I have everything written down what I need. I took some things out of the list my MW provided just because ive been through this a few times so I know what things we use and what we don't. It is a perfect list for the first time homebirth mama though. You just never know. I will probably order it this week some time so when I do have my next appt I can at least say I ordered it. Already got mildly harassed for not having it lol. I know im not going this early and they ship fast.
If it doesnt make it in time, well then, we improvise. How fun!
The weather is starting to get nice, aside from all the rain. So I am hoping by the time I do go in to labor we will have some sun shining. I need to figure out what I am going to labor in. I was thinking maybe some kind of longer sun dress, yet if you know me...the only dress ive ever worn in my adult life is a wedding dress. and with as big as my body is now, ehhh
So now im thinking just my comfy pants and I will get a tank top or something. I hate the idea of pants in case my water breaks while im still in labor and not ready to go into the pool. It hasnt happened in my past ones but never know.

enough rambling I think.
Here was a picture I took last week

OH! my new goodie

I forgot to post...imagine that. My brain doesnt work at all anymore. :) I got a new diaper bag!! well new to me. It is used but in perfect condition. Super excited! it was a big splurge but sooooo worth it. yet I am nervous to use it cause I dont want to ruin it lol Its a JuJuBe Prepared in the purple paisley print. Its even more gorgeous IRL. YAY!!!!

32 weeks

As of yesterday I was 32 weeks. CRAZY! I cant believe I only have 8 weeks until I am due. Malikai was my earliest at 38.2 weeks only because he was induced so he technically wasnt "ready". Tiler came on her own at 39 weeks. So I could go in 7 weeks. Im not ready. Its really sinking in that I will have 5 kids sometime within the next handful of weeks and its scaring the crap out of me. Im having hormonal days here and there. I wake up in a pissy mood and nothing anyone does makes it better. I feel mad and annoyed at the world. Still having those dizzy spells/ringing in ears every once and a while. Thankfully they have become less and less but still doesnt make things easier. Water retention seems to be my friend the last couple of weeks. Yay me. I can easily gain about 5 lbs by the end of the day from retention. Makes working so much fun. Walking is starting to become very painful. Yesterday was my worse day. I was crampy, painful braxton hicks that would stop me in my tracks several times. my back is on fire. naturally it all hits me when I am working. Maybe because I have to be on my feet and really active? I dont know but I didnt think I was going to truly make it through my work day yesterday. It was kind of scary. It has been weighing on my mind alot with the idea of having this baby early because of the physical stress of working has put on my body. Because when I am home on my days off I rarely have any issues. Even though I am miserable I would love nothing more than to make it to my due date so I know the babe is going to be truly ready. I knew things would be different this time around since ive never worked while pregnant. We'll see. like I said above, its really starting to sink in. My midwife requested that I start getting my birth kit ready. Now when that comes up in conversation is really when things get real. I still havent bought anything yet. Im waiting on more of a detailed list. I dont want to purchase her "premade" kit because I can get things cheaper and there is things that I know we didnt use for the last 3 births that I dont want to buy this time around. Its funny, it always happens when I am working. People will walk up to me and tell me the gender I am having. They say that it looks like I am carrying this gender or that gender. Ever since I was pregnant with Tiler, I have carried my babies the same way. Straight out. My midwife said it was due to the size of Tiler, she just stretched out my abdominal muscle that is suppose to "hold" the baby the correct way. Hence why when I am in labor I need to bind my stomach so the baby can move into position the correct way. I just choose to ignore the people and let them think what they want. Not like it will be "secret" for much longer. Completely forgot to post a couple weeks ago. We got a new vehicle! One that will fit ALL the kids in. So excited. Its an Excursion. Needs a couple minor repairs that are going to be fixed hopefully this week. Its not repairs that are keeping us from driving it so its not too bad. Its really big and definitely is going to take alot to get used to. I am not one that likes to cause attention to myself, especially in a vehicle and this kind of does it. But whatever. I will get over it. At least I can have my whole family in 1 vehicle when we need to go somewhere. And the kids are super excited to ride in it when they do :) And last but not least...heres the babe...

Little bit of everything/30 weeks

Ive got so much to cover that im just going to put it all in this post.

On March 12th completely out of the blue I get the most intense ringing in my ears along with a bad dizzy spell. I remember I wasnt feeling the greatest and I had to pee so while I was sitting there is when it hit me. I chalked it up at first to not feeling well cause earlier in the week Bennett was sick with the stomach flu and that day I was taking care of Jamison cause she had it too. I thought maybe I was catching it too. Unfortunately I had to work that evening so I put a call in to my midwife to let her know what was going on. I didnt hear from her before I had to leave so I just went to work where it had continued for a couple of hours. It wouldnt be AS intense. the ringing wasnt really there, I just kept having small dizzy spells. Eventually talked to my midwife where she thought I was coming down with something and suggested I go home. Unfortunately I really couldnt go home so I sucked it up and finished my shift.

On March 14th I had my appt with my midwife. I was 28.6 weeks. As she was parking her car outside of my house I had another one of those spells. I hadnt had any more since the 12th and this one was BAD. It was still going on when she walked in. During the appt she took my blood pressure and that was elevated (for me). She tested my sugar and hemoglobin too. My blood sugar was a little low and I was slightly anemic. Nothing to the point where it was alarming, besides my blood pressure. She chalked it up to me possibly coming down with something along with being stressed over that crazy spell I just had.
The babe's heartbeat was 160. She measured me and it was showing I was 3 weeks behind. To be on the safe side she scheduled me for an ultrasound.

March 15th- the ultrasound. Talk about a nerve racking morning! I was feeling so sick from nerves. Luckily everything went great. I held my strength and didnt find out what we are having. Baby was measuring perfectly. the last screen I seen it showed the babe measuring a few days ahead. So it must have been the position the baby was in when I got measured.

Current- Ive been having those dizzy spells/ringing ears several times a week. Its getting annoying. Making things difficult to function. It takes up a good few hours and when all is said and done I just dont feel good so it pretty much ruins the rest of my day.
Typically what happens is I will have 1 bad one, the first one.. After that for a couple of hours I will have mini ones. There will be a small jolt of one of my ears ringing and 1-2 seconds of a dizzy spell. It hits me hard enough to where I will stumble but the "recovery" is quick. Then a few minutes later it will hit me again. I get these just about every other day since.
Yesterday I had a BAD one and then I had the mini ones for 5 HOURS! I was exhausted! Called my midwife right away and I ended up making an appt with a reg. doctor this morning. my midwife still thinks its viral but I dont know. Its been going on for 2 weeks. Aside from that I feel as good as I can for being 30 wks.

So today, I am 30.3 weeks. Nothing really new going on aside from the above.
My weight is flucuating ALOT. I am gaining water weight really bad, but then the next day I lose it all and then some. The other day I had been down 6 pounds from my heaviest. but then the following day it was all back. its craziness.

will update when I get back from the doctor!

This was taken 2 days ago. I seem to look smaller than my pic 2 weeks ago. I dont know what is going on. I dont feel smaller. Maybe its the angle. who knows.

28 weeks

Few days late on posting this. ive been working alot and just have no desire to be on the computer.
Hard to believe that I only have 12 weeks before my due date. Yikes! I am not ready. I still have to get a swing, still have to get a big enough vehicle. Those are really the only *NEEDS* at this point BEFORE the baby gets here.

Ive been retaining water like nobodys business lately. Ive been tracking my weight (go figure!) and its around 3 pounds worth that I flucuate on a daily basis. Sometimes it takes a day or two to come off and the swelling goes down for a little while before I balloon back up. Ive been on my feet alot too with working so much. im surprised im not noticing alot more issues with the feet getting huge.
Last night when I was working out of the blue I start getting really painful cramps. It would come and go but would stop me in my tracks. It the pain was that of a contraction but nothing was tightening up or whatever so I know it wasnt a contraction. Still was unsettling.
So far nothing today, thankfully! Makes me wonder if I will be able to make it to the very end and work at the same time. I have my leave of absense papers filled out, just waiting on my next appt for my midwife to fill out her portion.
I put in for June 1st to be my first official day off. So that means I will be working on my due date if I am still pregnant. If not then I just have to call work to let them know to start my LOA earlier. I get 12 weeks off so that will take me to August 24th :sigh:. I dont want to think about ever returning back to work. We will see what happens. It will obviously all depend on the baby.
My next appt is on Monday...

26 wk appt

Im so behind on life these days. ive got about 5 minutes to write this out before I have to start running around getting kids ready for school.
I had my appt with my midwife this past Thursday. I was 26.2 weeks (today I am 26.6 wks!).
I had a 10lb weight gain since my last appt 5 weeks ago. So again this time I am managing about 2lbs a week :(
Blood pressure was perfect. Babe's heartbeat was 150. I am measuring on track this time. She said last time I was slightly bigger. Typically when I get into the later part of my third trimester is when I start measuring bigger so we'll see. She thinks I will have a smaller baby since I am eating healthier this time around, but with my weight gain who knows.
I had this conversation last night how I am eating a ton better than all my other pregnancies put together and yet this one is by far the worst one. Makes me wonder.
She did a 1 hour finger poke test for my sugar. my lunch consisted of a salad and an apple. About an hour before my lunch I had a snack which was a granola bar. My sugar level was too low which just confirms I still have hypoglycemia. Which also can take an effect on my weight since my metabolism is slower than normal.
My midwife still thinks I have some sort of insulin resistance.
I did a full blood workup last week as well and im not anemic and my thyroid is perfect.
In a way I wish I did have confirmation of having an issue so I knew what was going on. All I can do is keep eating as best as I can and hopefully not gain a ton more. Im looking at close to another 30 lbs if I am doing 2lbs a week. Insanity!

26 weeks

Last week of the 2nd trimester and 6th month...oh boy! (or girl hehe)

Ive felt like I have gotten bigger, but looking back at pictures it doesnt really seem that way. Something is going on though cause in the last 1-2 weeks its getting harder to breath. its a nice big struggle. Its not my most favorite feeling.
Weight gain has seemed to stall which is a GOOD thing. from my calculations its been about 11-12 pounds since my last appt 5 weeks ago :(
I have an appt this coming Thursday with my midwife so we will see. She sent me last week to do blood work up to check my thyroid and iron levels I believe. She wants me to eat my typical lunch on Thursday and she is going to check my sugar level when she comes to see if I might have gestational diabetes. I hope not, but if I do then at least I know what is causing all this discomfort.
a few days ago when I was at work I felt a painful contraction. I didnt think braxton hicks contractions could be painful but after speaking with some ladies they said they can be painful especially with subsequent pregnancies. Afterwards I was crampy the rest of the evening. Not a good night to be working! I haven't had one since, thankfully! but I am starting to feel some pelvic pressure. baby is still hanging out really low so that doesnt surprise me entirely. I have been feeling some tingling in my pelvic region too. It comes and goes. very strange feeling. Almost feels like my crotch is asleep (like that tingling you get when your leg or arm is asleep, minus the pain that comes with it going back to normal).
Sleeping at night is next to impossible. I have major insomnia this time around. I can't fall asleep easily and if I do I cant stay asleep for very long. the longest stretch I have slept is 2 hours. Any other time I seem to be taking little 20 min, 30 min, 15 min cat naps the rest of the night. its exhausting! Add in at least 1-3 bathroom breaks makes for an eventful evening.

Baby is moving ALOT. Starting to recognize his/hers sleep patterns. Loves to be awake right as I am laying down for bed, or if I wake up in the morning for some reason and I try to get back to sleep, its impossible cause the baby wakes up and starts a party inside.
as I type this he/she is gearing up for some fun lol. Some kicks have started to get painful. I had one last night that made me jump. Not only did it scare me cause it was so powerful but it hurt so bad!

Here is this weeks pic

24 weeks

Been a couple weeks since I was able to post. Well not that I wasnt able, I just didnt feel like taking the time to write something down AND take a picture.
I had it in my head everything I was going to write and now I have forgotten. Imagine that. I cant remember anything. I am definitely not a reliable source of information when I am pregnant.
So I have recently been told that I have come to a part in my pregnancy when I become really bitchy. Maybe I have forgotten about my past pregnancies or I didnt really experience it like I do this time, but physically this pregnancy is killing me. It feels way too early to be going through the aches and pains I am feeling. My back is a huge issue, my sciatic nerve gets so bad I start limping. my hips, omg. They ache and the pain is so intense. for example when I am sleeping, I will wake up during the night in so much pain I can barely change positions. at only 24 weeks, is that possible? I thought this was more of a 3rd trimester thing??!?!

I went a few days headache free and was feeling good in that area and now they are back. for the past 3 days it comes and goes, each time getting worse. when I get a headache it makes me so tired and I cant ever recoup from it so I have been walking around like a zombie since naps are not in my daily plans anymore unfortunately.

Tonight, as I was getting a shower I started to think to myself...where did my vagina go? Its missing! Well im sure its there, but I can't see it. I can barely reach it! I read that the hair on your legs grow much slower during this part of your pregnancy, well why cant that ring true for the rest of my body? That way I wouldnt have to worry about my vagina anyway! See before I could manuever my belly in order to make things pretty down there, as of late there is no manuevering anything. Its just touch and groom, touch and groom in hopes of getting everything. I was thinking maybe I should go get a bikini wax, but that is even less appealing than "going in blind" so to say. Right now I will stay grateful that I can still at least reach it. There will come a point soon enough where my fingertips will be on the razor and it will be on its own lol

I bought some cute maternity clothes at old navy. big mistake! looked cute on the website. Then my fat ass tried them on and they were not so cute after all. Out of the 5 things I bought, I am keeping 1 thing in hopes of it working out. And dont you know, everything else is return by mail only. POS! I just feel like a beached whale. nothing looks good. All my clothes seem to "hug" the wrong curves so I just look rolley polley (sp?)

Well thats it for now, I am tired so off to bed even though its not even 11pm

Here is a pic I took tonight, the last week I have felt alot bigger/fuller than before. blah

22 Weeks

6 months here I come! according to this site, which I love: http://theparentsite.com/pregnancy/trimesters.asp, week 22 is the start of the 6th month. It doesnt seem possible that anywhere from 16-18 weeks I will have another baby. well could possibly go up to 20 weeks but lets not even go there. Baby is moving alot. always really low still. I havent really paid attention to his/hers sleep patterns yet. All the others were night owls which made it very difficult to sleep at night and sure enough all of them were born at night. My back is really starting to hurt me. Its locked up a couple times on me which hurts SO bad. Ive had alot of problems with my sciatic nerve, mostly just on my right side. Makes it interesting to work. I am resorting to having to roll out of bed now, my stomach muscles are officially gone. Well its not even to get out of bed, even to get off my couch is an ordeal. I havent had to work for the last 3 days and I still have 2 more days off. I feel like such a slob. I havent even gotten out of my pajamas. Well I did leave the house yesterday for a couple hours...with all the kids....by myself. by the time I got home I was beat! Im even going to bed early. It feels great! With daddy working 3rd shift this week he has done the school routine. Between that and me getting some sleep I feel so relieved. My body needed this rest. Although I do feel lazy. At least the house is semi clean hehe I have been cutting wayyyyyy back on sugary stuff. not that I ate alot of it but I was splurging here and there. Anyway, my nasty feelings I have been having with being faint and hot flashes. Those have really subsided. When I do eat something "off limits" I can feel myself start feeling bad. Ive been eating toast w/peanut butter with a glass of milk for breakfast and that makes me feel really good. Didnt think Cheerios was all that bad, but I guess my body likes toast better.

Last but not least, here is a pic for this week

Prenatel Appt

I had an appt with my midwife yesterday.
I am up another 14lbs which makes it a total of 49lbs. So depressing.
the babes heartbeat was 155. Blood pressure is good. I am not positive as to what I am measuring. this was the first time she measured me. She did say that she thinks I might have fibroids cause as she was trying to feel the location of my uterus she said that my right side felt higher than my left and she could feel something odd. I have noticed it too when I have felt my stomach, that its lopsided.
She said we could get an ultrasound to definitely determine but then it was dropped. So I guess we will wait and see what its like at the next appt. if anything she will have to give me a shot of pitocin after I give birth to help control the bleeding. I guess with fibroids you can easily hemorrage post delivery and we definitely dont want that.
My next appt is in 5 weeks

21 weeks

21 weeks! Last week of month 5. In a forum that I visit there are ladies on there that are just finding out and are due in September! Physically I am ready, granted I am only 21 wks but im ready. Emotionally, not so much. Im a wreck. My patience is being tested by the kids I already have. I know its heightened because I am pregnant but that doesnt make me feel any better.

Been going through a really rough time lately, well the last couple months. Im worn down. I am so tired and I cant get a grip on it. Im so overwhelmed. I get no breaks. I get no time to myself. Some say going to work is my break, but I am still doing crap for other people. I hate working. I know it wouldnt be so bad if I wasnt pregnant. I have went through so many changes these last 5 1/2 months its no wonder I feel the way I feel. yet my feelings are never justified in others eyes.
Some mamas I asked told me that I could take Fish Oil supplements to help improve my moods so I asked my midwife about it and she agreed. Now its just a matter of getting to the local health food store (to get a "good" kind) is next to impossible. I don't have time. I dont have the want to drag Jamison out across town, then that would mean I would have to skip lunch. I definitely cant drag all the kids out after school. we have such a strict routine because so much has to be squeezed in every day. So do I just get a "crappy" kind and hopes that does enough, or do I just deal with how I am feeling in hopes I don't feel worse?
Its just embarrassing. I keep a smile on my face because im the "put together" mommy that can do anything. I cant possibly be feeling bad or overwhelmed. Pity party of one I guess.
I feel bad because im not being the mommy my kids need right now. im always on edge and they dont deserve that. ::sigh::

Something I am getting really sick of and its happening on a daily basis. People ask me when im due... I say end of May... Oh you have a ways to go yet... Yeah I do.... Is this your first?...no, I have other kids.... Oh, really, how many?.... I have 4... OMG REALLY? then they will go on and say I am crazy..better you than me.. I couldnt imagine.. Bless your heart..I hope my kids dont have that many, I would tell them to get that fixed before hand. Its getting old. What is so wrong with having a "bigger" family?? I guess this generation is so big on just having 1 or maybe 2 kids and that is THEIR perfect family. Well thats not my perfect family. My kids might drive me crazy on a good day and things are VERY hectic, but I would not change anything. I just wish people would keep their comments to themselves. I don't know how much longer I will keep a smile on my face and shrug it off when people blatantly disrespect me and my family

On another note, here is the new picture

Feeling movement...

Daddy got to feel your little kicks for the first time last night <3
First time we tried, little stinker stopped kicking until I put my hand back on my belly then quickly replaced it with daddys and he got to feel it, finally
20.1 wks :)

20 weeks!!!!

Half way point!!! I can't believe I am *only* half way. seems like this has been taking forever! I feel like crap this week because I am sick again. yes...AGAIN. I think its a combo of the lack of sleep, working retail, and my kids being in school and they are sick now too. We are just surrounded by germs so I guess its bound to happen.

Im still taking naps daily. I am awake for maybe 2 hours in the morning before I am passed out on the couch for 1-1 1/2 hours. Of course I am constantly being woke up by the kids but its still a nice and much needed nap. It gets me through until right after dinner where I am dead to the world again.

The baby is moving a ton now. still not alot that I am able to catch with my hands. the movement usually happens when I am busy driving, or doing something that I cant just hold my stomach. So far by the time I go to bed, the baby is already settled down so I don't have to be kept awake by crazy movements. Im sure give it time.

Yesterday I fell in my slippery driveway. I mostly fell on my hip but it still jarred me enough to get a headache and plenty of braxton hicks for the following hour or so. Me and Jamison were on our way to get the kids from school. Thank God I had already gotten her in the van! She has been really big on me carrying her everywhere. After the school pickup I didnt do much at home that required being on my feet for extended periods of time but then I had to go to work. Didnt take long for me to get quite a bit of cramping and a horrible backache. I felt horrible. luckily it wasnt a busy night so I was able to rest here and there but its definitely something where I wish I was home. I am fine now and the baby is still moving like crazy <3

and finally, here is my 20wk pic...taken yesterday



Just took it from this side to show off some of my ink lol. I dont have any pics of it. I cant wait until summer time so i can wear more short sleeve shirts. spent alot of money on that arm for it to just be covered up for which seems like forever!
Plus the purple and blue symbols stands for homebirth/waterbirth. very fitting

19 weeks

Almost half way there already. this is crazyness. I think I pretty much say that every week, but its true! I cant believe in a little over 4 months there will be a baby in the house. I am so not ready! Well physically I am. my newer symptom, well its been going on for a couple weeks now. I cant remember now if I mentioned it, but my bladder is on fire all the time aka I cant stop using the bathroom. I will be fine one minute and literally the next I have to pee so bad I am crossing my legs to gain enough composure to make it to the bathroom. That is NOT fun when I am at work. Hello panty liners. BLAH.
I weighed myself this morning and I am up about 8 pounds since my last appt. Honestly though, aside from eating some delicious peanut butter fudge I havent really splurged. For once I am eating pretty balanced. I know I am not sleeping as much as I could and should so im sure that plays a huge factor. And even though I am peeing alot, I still feel slightly dehydrated so I have a feeling most of this weight gain is water weight which in my past pregnancies that is what happened to me so I am not freaking out.
Aside from baby, I do feel quite bloated and heavy. New belly pics for this week too. Did I mention how much I loathe taking them myself. they look so crappy.

ive been told that I look smaller in these pics than I did a few weeks ago when I was wearing the same shirt. Maybe because in the first pic a few weeks ago I just ate a big lunch so I was really bloated, the pics below I hadnt ate anything in several hours. I feel so tight and bloated everytime I eat so it doesnt surprise me

Shopping Shopping Shopping!

So I went shopping and picked up a few outfits from Gymboree which was alot of fun. Got AMAZING deals! I will probably still get a few more things but I wont stress too much now. I still have to get a few basics like diapers and probably some gowns for the first few days at least. I like putting them in those for night time. easy diaper changes!
stupid pictures are all jumbled. im not about to fix them. at least I got them uploaded. cant ask for much more.