Been going through a really rough time lately, well the last couple months. Im worn down. I am so tired and I cant get a grip on it. Im so overwhelmed. I get no breaks. I get no time to myself. Some say going to work is my break, but I am still doing crap for other people. I hate working. I know it wouldnt be so bad if I wasnt pregnant. I have went through so many changes these last 5 1/2 months its no wonder I feel the way I feel. yet my feelings are never justified in others eyes.
Some mamas I asked told me that I could take Fish Oil supplements to help improve my moods so I asked my midwife about it and she agreed. Now its just a matter of getting to the local health food store (to get a "good" kind) is next to impossible. I don't have time. I dont have the want to drag Jamison out across town, then that would mean I would have to skip lunch. I definitely cant drag all the kids out after school. we have such a strict routine because so much has to be squeezed in every day. So do I just get a "crappy" kind and hopes that does enough, or do I just deal with how I am feeling in hopes I don't feel worse?
Its just embarrassing. I keep a smile on my face because im the "put together" mommy that can do anything. I cant possibly be feeling bad or overwhelmed. Pity party of one I guess.
I feel bad because im not being the mommy my kids need right now. im always on edge and they dont deserve that. ::sigh::
Something I am getting really sick of and its happening on a daily basis. People ask me when im due... I say end of May... Oh you have a ways to go yet... Yeah I do.... Is this your first?...no, I have other kids.... Oh, really, how many?.... I have 4... OMG REALLY? then they will go on and say I am crazy..better you than me.. I couldnt imagine.. Bless your heart..I hope my kids dont have that many, I would tell them to get that fixed before hand. Its getting old. What is so wrong with having a "bigger" family?? I guess this generation is so big on just having 1 or maybe 2 kids and that is THEIR perfect family. Well thats not my perfect family. My kids might drive me crazy on a good day and things are VERY hectic, but I would not change anything. I just wish people would keep their comments to themselves. I don't know how much longer I will keep a smile on my face and shrug it off when people blatantly disrespect me and my family
On another note, here is the new picture
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