32 weeks

As of yesterday I was 32 weeks. CRAZY! I cant believe I only have 8 weeks until I am due. Malikai was my earliest at 38.2 weeks only because he was induced so he technically wasnt "ready". Tiler came on her own at 39 weeks. So I could go in 7 weeks. Im not ready. Its really sinking in that I will have 5 kids sometime within the next handful of weeks and its scaring the crap out of me. Im having hormonal days here and there. I wake up in a pissy mood and nothing anyone does makes it better. I feel mad and annoyed at the world. Still having those dizzy spells/ringing in ears every once and a while. Thankfully they have become less and less but still doesnt make things easier. Water retention seems to be my friend the last couple of weeks. Yay me. I can easily gain about 5 lbs by the end of the day from retention. Makes working so much fun. Walking is starting to become very painful. Yesterday was my worse day. I was crampy, painful braxton hicks that would stop me in my tracks several times. my back is on fire. naturally it all hits me when I am working. Maybe because I have to be on my feet and really active? I dont know but I didnt think I was going to truly make it through my work day yesterday. It was kind of scary. It has been weighing on my mind alot with the idea of having this baby early because of the physical stress of working has put on my body. Because when I am home on my days off I rarely have any issues. Even though I am miserable I would love nothing more than to make it to my due date so I know the babe is going to be truly ready. I knew things would be different this time around since ive never worked while pregnant. We'll see. like I said above, its really starting to sink in. My midwife requested that I start getting my birth kit ready. Now when that comes up in conversation is really when things get real. I still havent bought anything yet. Im waiting on more of a detailed list. I dont want to purchase her "premade" kit because I can get things cheaper and there is things that I know we didnt use for the last 3 births that I dont want to buy this time around. Its funny, it always happens when I am working. People will walk up to me and tell me the gender I am having. They say that it looks like I am carrying this gender or that gender. Ever since I was pregnant with Tiler, I have carried my babies the same way. Straight out. My midwife said it was due to the size of Tiler, she just stretched out my abdominal muscle that is suppose to "hold" the baby the correct way. Hence why when I am in labor I need to bind my stomach so the baby can move into position the correct way. I just choose to ignore the people and let them think what they want. Not like it will be "secret" for much longer. Completely forgot to post a couple weeks ago. We got a new vehicle! One that will fit ALL the kids in. So excited. Its an Excursion. Needs a couple minor repairs that are going to be fixed hopefully this week. Its not repairs that are keeping us from driving it so its not too bad. Its really big and definitely is going to take alot to get used to. I am not one that likes to cause attention to myself, especially in a vehicle and this kind of does it. But whatever. I will get over it. At least I can have my whole family in 1 vehicle when we need to go somewhere. And the kids are super excited to ride in it when they do :) And last but not least...heres the babe...